The life I lost

Posted 2 years ago by Jared North under Others

No one ever believes me, and none may. I have no documentation, no evidence, nothing to support my claim. I have done many research of why I am different, why I am able to see such things; but, no report, no article, no research has ever come to a conclusive decision or diagnosis. I don't know why I can remember and see when other people can't. I look at my mother, and I cry... I cry because I know the truth. I look at my sister, and it hurts me even more. The only two people in my life, are the people that are slowly taking my life away- without them even knowing...

I remember running in a corn field. It was hot, but windy; I can still smell the fresh dirt that was being dug by my wife. While I chased a dog out of our farm she plowed the field and prepared the dirt for a new harvest. Dogs, they don't know when to stop eating; if I let him eat, he'll surely crumple down all of our corn again. I came back to the garden where my wife was; she's pregnant and expecting soon. I stopped her from tilting the land, and told her that the other men and women will help me finish our farm. I guided her back home and demanded her to rest for the rest of the days until our child is born. Our house, it felt so homely and warm; while others may see it as only sticks and hide, I saw our castle, my castle. My wife, Daania, resisted my care for her and wanted to remain helping as much as possible, but I fear complications with her body and the baby may incur if I let her be, so I had the other women in the village comforted her. I joined the other men and we went hunting. That summer, life was great, and my wife gave birth to our daughter, Darshani. I was the most happiest man alive!

When Darshani became 9 years old, I taught her how to ride horses. It was not a custom for women to ride horses, but I wanted to make sure Darshani had no disabilities. Darshani became really good at riding horses, so I taught her how to tame horses too, soon Darshani became quite the horse charmer. Daania was again pregnant, and the shaman predicted that I would soon have my heir. I was really grateful for the blessing and expected to have a son by the following autumn. However, life hits you hardest when you least expect it. Winter came too soon, and we could not fare my son well enough. He left us, and I miss him so dearly. I loved him, but I don't remember his name. I can't remember his name at all; I tried over and over, but I can never remember his name. All I know is how he looked like, and how long he stayed with us. It's truly sad when a father can't even remember his only son's name.

The next spring, Daania became sick. With all the shamans in the village, we failed to revive her soul and so Daania left Darshani and I behind; her body never recovered from giving birth to my son. Daania and I were all alone, the house became quite and dark; it was no longer a castle, but a defeated fortress. I had lost my best friend and the will to live on. On the day we set fire on my wife's corpse, my whole life flashed before my eyes, all the happy times I had with Daania, all the times Daania and I made love, all the times Daania and I held each other flooded my eyes with tear; they overflowed and I cried wanting to die along with Daania, but a little hand held my hand with her tight grip. Darshani cried out loud so I wouldn't need to, she whimpered so I wouldn't shiver, and she hugged me so I wouldn't give up on life. On that day, I made a promise to myself to never leave Darshani alone, and to be the father that deserves her love.

With the absence of a mother figure in our family, I taught Darshani the ways of the male gender; she would attain the skills that my son would have, and live life to the fullest as an independent women. Darshani became a great fishermen; she speared more fishes than I could ever in one day. She became my world, and I would protect her from anyone and anything. At 13 years old, I remember a suitor approached her, but I didn't allow her to wed. I told her that her suitor did not have enough trade to begin with, and that he was lazy. I would never give my other half to a lazy bum! However, it wasn't long until Darshani was taken from me too.

I remembered it quite clearly, they came with such force, and it was all over within an instant. An army of horse riders surrounded our village and scattered our people. We were not prepared, and so many of us died without ever seeing the enemy. As I quickly look for my tomahawk, Darshani grabbed my spear and ran out to face our oppressors. I ran out after her to prevent her from being killed. I grabbed her from behind and she fought to set free, but I held her tight. I told her to run away, and never look back. It was then that I felt a really sharp pain at my right ribs. The impact took my breath away, and my body quickly became heavy. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stand, I couldn't crawl; all my energy left my body in that one blow. I fell to the side and fought furiously just to breathe. Dizziness and blurred vision started setting in, but I remembered seeing Darshani crying while I lay on my side. Her tears streamed down her cheeks, her hands shook me to keep my consciousness, and she cried and screamed at me, but I couldn't hear any of it. Her audio became only vibrations but I knew she was crying, and I knew I was dying. Her hands were covered in my blood, and she was trying to get me up. Tears started to roll down my eyes as it hit me that I would too leave my Darshani, that I would never be there for her wedding, that I have failed to protect her. I had been pierced by either an arrow or tomahawk, and started coughing out blood. In a blink of an eye, I saw a rope with a loop at the end flying in the air, and it landed right on my Darshani's neck. In the next blink, I see her choking and being dragged away by a horse rider. Her scream vibrated loudly, and all I could do was reach my arm out to her; that was the last time I ever saw Darshani. I don't know what happened to her or our village, all I know is, on that day, I died.

Today, I am no longer called Ubayy, nor am I of Native American anymore. I am Caucasian, 21 years old, and living with my mother and sister. However, I don't see my mother as Teresa, nor do I see my sister as Emily; instead, I see Daania and Darshani, respectively. It hurts, it really does, to be the only one affected with these past memories and have old emotions run through your body day in and day out. Can you blame me though? I used to be married to my mother, and in turn, gave birth to my sister. It's such a weird feeling of taboo, but it makes such perfect sense to me having all my old memories. I've been dreaming the same dream ever since I was 6 years old- it was like, all of a sudden, I just remembered everything. I want to forget, so badly that we sought out doctors and psychiatrists, even went under hypnosis. However, the feelings and emotions are too strong, and I can never forget them. I am still madly in love with Daania, and I still regret so much for failing to protect Darshani; but that was a different world. I may have the same soul, but I am a different person now. I have to forget, I have to let this life have a chance, I have to move on and not dwell in the past. I find myself unconsciously calling my mother and sister by their Native American names, than quickly correcting myself. It's hard, really hard, and very exhausting. At night, I cry myself to sleep, and when I fall asleep, I revisit my past life and relive it all again, every day, every night. I get no rest.

I currently live alone. I have intentionally distant myself from my mother and sister; they try to understand me, but at the end of the day, no one understands me, or understand how powerful these feelings and emotions are, and what they're capable of doing. I do NOT lust over my mother, but I do know I love her more than a son should ever- I also am very protective of my sister, especially knowing that I failed to protect her once already. This site has lots of crazy and scary stories, my story is just another addition to it's library. Please do not let my story bring you down, it is all in the past, and no matter how much I love those two, I can never relive my old life. Thank you for reading my life, and I hope you live your life to it's fullest.

 

 
  • Jared North
  • Location: United States
  • Joined Date: July 8, 2015
 

 

  Comments (32)

Cha Yang
sad That's so sad. I... have no words for you. I don't even know what to say in this type of situation. I had a cousin who had something similar happened to him, but not to your level. Wow, seriously, just wow. I applaud you for sharing, but remembering past lives are such a burden. It's so sad to know who people used to be, and being the only one who does know it too. Have you seen anyone else that you may have recognized? Sorry, but I am going to share a little of my religion's belief with an explanation here. I believe in Shamanism, and we believe if you remember your past life, most likely, you never received proper burial. Not only that, you managed to be born living with your past family again, albeit they are different now, but you are with them. Our religions depicts this type of scenario as, your life with them was not over yet, it was taken too soon, and as a result, you will live with your family again and fulfill your deserved time with your family again. It's sad, really, seeing how you are suffering alone. I wish you the best of luck, I can't even imagine what you are going through. Your story may not be scary, but it is definitely something else. You stated you've been having this dream ever since you were 6 years old, do you have any real visions or memories of your past life, or do they all come back to you in the forms of dreams only? If it's only strictly dreams, then you may just be suffering from something, but if you do have past memories too, then you are one of the few unlucky souls who were reincarnated with their memories still intact.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Cha Yang
I just had to reread your story again. It's very touching, and it still makes me sad every time I read it. Reading from what you wrote, you used to be a Native American. You were happily married and had one surviving child. Unfortunately, your son and wife left you, and you soon joined them once you were killed in a raid. Centuries later, you are now reincarnated as a Caucasian but still remember your past life. Your time with your Native American family was taken from you forcefully, as a result, you are awarded to relive that life again with your family in this lifetime; however, the unfortunate events it turns out to be, you are no longer married to your wife, but am now the son to your previous wife, and brother to your past daughter. I'm sure you have told this story many times to multiple people, including your mother and sister, but do they believe you? I had to share your story with my family, and it's really hard for people to believe in such stories, but since our religion believes in reincarnation, we believe you. All I'll say is, no one should ever be cursed to remember their past life, for one, it's too heart breaking, and then, there's always that force of emotion that propels your heart forcing you to always choose. I wish you luck buddy.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Matthew Dennis
To get past this, you have to die. Like you have to accept your death. You feel alive, you have desires, yearnings, etc. you have to accept and be ok if you were to die today. Accepting you would never come back. You do this and you will be ok :)

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Matthew Dennis
Basically, knowing you were going to die. Not hypothetically, like you have to be ok to die. It looks bleak i see, i promise its good :)

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Cha Yang
Matthew, are you some sort of Voodooist Healer (You practice both dark and light art)?

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Jared North
I can't just die, or want to feel dying; that's just something I can't think of and act on it. I'm not planning on suicide if that's what you're implying- life is precious and I don't know when I'll come back. To accept death... almost sounds like pretending that my past never happened- I am seriously trying that, for over 15 years now. But every time I see the ones I shared a life with, I break down- that's why I distant myself. Today my sister came to visit me with her friends, I almost cried seeing how much she's grown in my absence. See what I mean? A brother is not supposed to feel this way, but I do, because I used to be her father I still feel this way. Yesterday I was looking at my family's photograph, there was a picture when I was only 8 years old in it. During that time, we went to an old campground as part of a tour of the trip, and I saw my mother, who was much younger then- she was the exact replica of my dear wife. It hurts, life hurts, and I should be implementing suicidal thoughts from having such pain all day and all night, but just the thought of being reincarnated again and being separated once again from my beloveds... that scares the hell out of me.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Matthew Dennis
Lol no cha. Im not a voodooist. Anything i mention is supposed to be to reveal light or to progress. And cha, not art, it is the absolutes or the science, the definite. I try to avoid opinions or things i am not sure of. On that, you will see what i am talking about. Suicide? Haha Nooo! Not what i mean. Ok, on this, basically we are born dying. Doesnt matter the back ground, doesnt matter anyone's soul. We are all basically dying. The only way you see a positive ending your life, completely accepting your death is in your heart and hoping it will be a good outcome. I say this because you are suffering. More than anyone i know. Its not drug abuse or anything caused my something you have done. Basically, its a part of you. Thing is, you dont see life at this point. You see what you recognize life to be. The greatest things you have ever witnessed. You have enjoyed the splendors any one will ever share with you. Since you have not known any greater pleasure in life, and nothing will compare, you have to find what is far more rewarding, something that will be greater that meeting the one woman you came to be with and the daughter you created, something you built. Something that was a blessing for you. What can be more of a blessing than finding the person you can give your heart to, and creating something better than your self? Those things were a part of what we are to accomplish in life. I cant explain or help you understand what is better than that. But i can tell you it comes after death. Basically you are flawed, when i said we are dying from birth, im not kidding. But its not just your physical self. Its everything. Mental state, spitit, everything. Youve heard of people gaining pretty much suprising strength or other when they were motivated in heart by a cause greater than their own. Even death. Basically, in order to see why you are now living, you have to be willing to die. To your past, to everything, but in process unless you are willing. You cant go back. All you can do is affect the present. Right in front of your face. To see life directly in front of you, you have to die. You dont see it. Period. The splendors you had. They were great. They were awesome. However, when, if you let go, there are greater joys. If you die completely to all, again no suicide, basically completely letting go of life all together, everything you know, you will then see a world you will never have seen before. Your adventure will have just begun. You have to let go of your own life. You have to let your self go. You do, you will feel the life coming in. You will feel as you can taste, see, breathe, touch for the first time. You need to let go. You need to accept its not your life anymore. You need to be willing to accept youre new given life. Something you dont know anything about, but something youre willing to take.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Matthew Dennis
Cha, i said to you that i had died. This is what i was mentioning.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Matthew Dennis
Thats going to be really hard for you. Take it like this. You have this thirst. You want what you had. You want that joy. The feeling you had. You have to understand it's not going to come back. Either accept that you had it and the time for it is over, or that it just happened and theres nothing you are going to be able to do to get it back. Accept that and you will be. There will be life waiting. You have to let it in. You have to let go before it can come in.

  Like  2 years ago Cha Yang like this.

Jared North
Matt, you sound just like my therapist. I've been over this more than once already, and it's been at least 5 years since I've stopped all forms of therapy. Therapy doesn't work for me, they try to provide an explanation, and they're really good at it, but it doesn't do me justice. As much as I want this life to work, I value the life I lost too much to simply let go of. I honestly am just going to live life as it is, I can't let it go, so I'm just going to live with it. What can one do when even going under hypnosis doesn't work? I really do want this life to work, and would even take recommendations for even more powerful hypnosis if there were any, but nothing's worked. Their magic only works right at that moment, and as soon as I close my eyes and fall asleep, I'm back in Native America again, dying all over again. The thing is, even though I know it's a repeat of my life, while in the dream, I have no idea that I am redreaming the same dream again, so it makes it extremely emotional all over again. Thanks for the help guys, but if my therapists can't help me at all, I doubt you guys will be able to.

Matt- I've accepted the end more than once already, but my memory reboots itself every night neglecting my decision every time I do. By the way, it's kinda hard to take you serious when your avatar is a bit off, lol.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Matthew Dennis
Either you want to keep everything or not. Trying is not the same as doing. If it hurts, go back to it, relive it, then listen. See the truth. If its the love you feel, then you arent letting go. Memory or not, youre living in it when reality is in your face but youre accepting to be there.

My experience. Ive tasted hell. Everything you imagine. Anything you can imagine. I let my self become engulfed in it. Both imagination and total reality. Every part i believed. I became completely engulfed. I became addicted to things, anything. My world was flipped upside down. My world has been flipped way more times than you can count. Ive gone through more than you imagine. Im not telling you to forget any of it. Im telling you go to it and see, feel, be, what you need to be. Understand, appreciate, love, whatever. Feel the love you felt. Feel the joy. Learn from what happened. Be open to becoming satisfied. Be willing to learn. Be willing to become vulnerable to every bit of it. When you see it, when you go to it. You will know what you need. You will be at peace.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Matthew Dennis
If i could be with you in person i could show you.

  Like  2 years ago Cha Yang and Jared North like this.

OJesvi singh
Ohhh..wooo.....FIRSTLY -Jared your story is really very sad..n heart touching.....i really hope,everything becomes good for u ...so that u don't hav ur (past life)memories in ur present life.....
SECONDLY-Matthew ..semms like u hav a lot info on every stuff related to this all...nice advises man...
THIRD-Cha yang ur advises r really interesting n awesome...seems like you've. Had a lot of experiences in this stuff
U guys r really cool thanx for sharing these stories and so much of info...

  Like  2 years ago Matthew Dennis, Cha Yang and Jared North like this.

Jared North
Alright, I'll say to you what I have said to my therapist many times already, @ MATT, what do I do to get rid of these dreams? Be specific, not just general "let go of it man," no one really knows what that means especially when one has been trying to "let go" for 15 years now. You DO seem to know a lot, so I would very much appreciate a decent and thoughtful answer. Don't take my request as a threat or challenge, I AM open to everyone's opinions, and yours just flopped on top of the totem pole. @ Cha, what would Shamans do for clients with symptomatic problems like mine? How does a Shaman rid past memories, and if it's even possible to do such a thing? Again, please don't take my questions as challenges or threats, you two have responded to my stories instead of just simply reading and going on, which means a lot to me. I placed this story here in hopes of people like you guys to input your advice and suggestions, so please, ADVISE.

  Like  2 years ago OJesvi singh, Matthew Dennis and Cha Yang like this.

Cha Yang
Buddy, I'm sorry if I lead you to believe Shamans are an all powerful being; the truth is, they're not! In fact, all Shamans are capable of doing is rid unwanted entities and heal the sick. You don't have any of the two problems, so there is nothing a Shaman can do for you. Some may say that there is a spirit holding onto you, in which case, a Shaman can unearth the spirit and set you free; however, without a diagnosis, Shamans normally deal with the "said" tasks. However, some Shamans are gifted and inherit more than just healing and ridding, they may see into the past, and get glimpse of what a person's future may hold. My mother is such a person, however, you must be willing to come to her as she requires your pulse to see into your story. Shamanists, such as myself, believe that there are 9 spirits that reside in every person. For example, when you sleep, you sleep spirit becomes active while the other spirits rests. Another example is, when you die, one of your spirit remains with the body, while the others are set free. Once a year, we always call our ancestors to dine with us, and that's only possible because of that one spirit that was left behind; we ask for their protections and help all the time. Powerful Shamans are capable of splitting your spirits apart, and leaving none with your body. Such Shamans can then split your past spirit that "may" have taken hold of you and split if from your "current" you and set it free; which in turn, set you free of any past memories. Your dreams will slowly fade away, and soon, that's all they'll be, just dreams, no more emotions intact with them. Well, this is just a rant on my belief, and I'm sorry if I've led you to believe Shamans are capable of doing anything; again, most Shamans only deal with spirits. If you do believe in spirits, then perhaps you can ask around for a Shaman to help you out. However, do NOT go to a Voodooist; while they consider themselves to be Shamans, they practice the dark arts, and is exactly the opposite of what I just told you. Feel free to ask more questions and I'll do my best to explain.

  Like  2 years ago OJesvi singh like this.

Matthew Dennis
Specifically ok. I was going to agree with cha in that i might assume you had a spirit attached to you or even that you were the spirit your self taking over someone else's body. But you are completely conscious and i would say lucid when the memory or feelings arent in mind. Either way, you are physically present and noy weird and loopy so you dont resemble the dead. Ill speak on it more in a bit.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Matthew Dennis
ok, tackling this. go to a place, i guess your room or wherever you are completely relaxed. let everything flow. let your mind, emotions, everything flow. let your guard completely down. This is also the time you are asleep, your guard is down etc. basically, let your mind, heart, your entire self just be. you will go back to that, dream, that vision. those memories, that pain, that love. you will feel and embody it all. if you know what listening is, then keep it in the back of your mind. throughout this experience of reliving it all, or just remembering it, let your self feel all of it. cry as you will. hurt as you will. but you will know what is important. you know exactly what is completely important. it's important to listen to all of this as you are going through it. basically, dont judge what you know in the circumstances, let it flow, then let your whole self transpire within this current state, and letting that life flash before you. you will have the understanding of your current experience of being alive, and you will remember what is going on. I say its important to listen during this Entire process, even if just listening to the wind, because it will keep you out of your own mind and your own relation or bias to the matter. if you listen, you will gain the greater, the complete understanding behind the entire life, scenario, memories. you will learn what from there. if you dont get it. you dont understand it. keep trying. you will understand it. you have to keep working at it though. remember though, you need to be entirely vulnerable. let your whole self go to its complete relaxed state. when you are like this, you are open to receiving what you need to know.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Matthew Dennis
take the day. forget everything. bills, life, everything. take this time, its your time. let your whole self be.

dont even go in it as a mission. no motivations. nothing. let it happen as it is part of you. but keep a completely open mind. listen. keep humble, you dont get any of this, listening will teach you everything you need from this.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Jared North
@Cha
Shamans....

Not too hype about finding one especially when they (around 3-5) shamans in my past life couldn't even save my wife; then again, you say Shamans only dealt with spirits, and today, we know that my wife was not dealing with spirit, but probably something internal with her organs... well have to think about on this one. Also, how does one find a Shaman?- it's not like they're listed on craigslist or anything.

@Matt
What you describe to me is basically what all my therapists have been trying to tell me; it always start with me going to a location where I deemed the most relaxed and free from any distraction. I am then to relax my body and clear my mind of any consciousness, and slowly drift into sleep. However, I must keep my hearing intact to... that's the part no one can ever explain to me. Everyone tells me to listen, but in reality, I'm not listening for anything specific. The flaw to this technique is that when I do fall asleep, I no longer have control of my dream or awareness. I fall deep into my dream and believe that I am living in that moment; I breathe the warm air, smell the dirt, fell the wind... and feel pain! Like I said, the dream is too powerful, and it takes a hold on me forcing me to believe that it is reality. So basically, I have no idea it is a dream, or the same dream I've been dreaming all this time. It's only when I die in the dream, and everything turns black that I wake up finally realizing that it was all a dream, that's how real it is. Every time I wake up, I can still feel the artifact that struck me from behind in my body, and it's painful. People would think that as soon as you wake up, there is no sense of pain, but that's not true. I feel the axe/arrow in my body, and it freaken hurts! I can't breathe at all when I wake up, I always gasp and choke for air for 3-5 minutes before my body finally relaxes and allows normal breathing pattern; of course my face and pillow are already drenched in tears. The most important thing I've come to encounter is that most, if not all, people don't feel pain in their dreams. I feel pain! I feel the hurt from the tragic lost of my son, wife, and daughter- and I feel the temperature from the sun during the hot Summer, the cold from the freezing Winter but warmth from a hide my wife sewn together to make a coat for me, and finally, the death blow and my ribs cracking, splitting apart as that artifact digs deep into my body. I feel the hard dirt as I slam my face against it; I feel my teeth breaking and popping as my jaw slams on the dirt, and I taste the sourness of my own blood as I cough it out; I even feel the vibrations as I start to black out.... I can feel in my dream; I'm not like other people; the food I eat in the life in my dream, I can taste it. I've never had salmon, deer, or even bison before, but I know how they all taste from my dream- and they all taste so different! I've never been cut by the sharp edges of corn leaves before, but I know how much it hurts because they always cut against my skin when I go and pick corn from my dream... there's too much that no one knows about me, or care to reason with. I thank you guys for trying, but all the suggestions and advice you guys have given me- I've tried already, more than once in all my years of therapy. So please, tell me something I don't know.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Jared North
I apologize if I sounded rude in my earlier comment, I did not mean to. The years of failed therapy complicates life's choices a bit too often, and I keep hearing the same thing again and again, and by different people. Also, I've never answered one of Cha's previous question, Do I only see my past life in my dream, or do I have memories too? The answer to that question is, it initially came to me as only dreams, but when I did finally started doing research on where some of the locations were in California, I felt them. I visited some of the locations, and I remembered things that weren't even present in the dream, such as digging a hole behind a certain tree and hiding my favorite arrows so my dad wouldn't know I was out making arrows instead of tending to the crops. On a certain hill where supposedly many Indians were buried underneath, I walked on top of it and lay down. As I lay down, I remembered that around this area, I had actually killed my first "beast" and my father awarded me by giving me a tatoo entailing that I became a man.... so yes, I do have past memories, they don't come to me unless I go to them though. The only thing that comes to me nonstop, are my dreams.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Cha Yang
If you don't know how to find Shamans, don't go looking for one. For one, you'll end up finding the wrong people and being scam for money. I think it's easier for Asian people to find other Shamans because we believe and practice Shamanism. So amongst our community, we all know who the shamans are and who does what. In your religion, I assume it's not Shamanism, there are no gatherings or rituals ceremonies, so it's gonna be hard to locate a Shaman or even identify one. Shamans don't go around painting their face, they look and act just like normal people. Shamans also do NOT advertise their skills, so if you find Shamans on a Google search, they're probably scammers. Shamans are here to perform for the better of the community, not to advertise their skills and profit. I'm sorry, but I can't help you with identifying or locating a Shaman. You have to know someone who knows a Shaman, or it is completely useless trying to find one. Also, if you do find a Shaman, it is almost impossible to know if they practice light or dark, especially if you have never been exposed to their rituals or seen one in action.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Matthew Dennis
Honestly jared, youre helping me out. What im telling you is very specific. Its a specific menuver. What you tell me, in the details help me out actually, even if you think nothing of it. As well, you are okay to be frustrated. I would be too. Im seeing what you go through. I cant tell you a thing unless i have seen it.

This is a spirit. Its not you. The difference i see is that it all resonates from your experience from vision. And i believe you completely. Every bit your experience in this. You are completely anchored to it. Its a part of you. If you didnt know it had already happened by time stamps or period dating to the event, you wouldnt know if it was to be a future event and just a vision into your future.

The more involving this is however, the more its going to mean youre going to become involved into the solution. Its going to take a hell of a chunk from you. You will not recognize anything. Since it is not you, its going to require the third party. You will not be able to take this within any ability you have.

This is beyond your control, and ability.

If you are serious about this. If you are willing, pm me.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Jared North
Sorry, but it sounds like you guys either want me to come to you guys, or you guys come to me. I don't want any one to come over or me coming over at all; as far as I know, we're all strangers. I'm gonna start seeing therapy again soon, don't take me wrong though, I'm flattered you guys are willing to help, but I can't just start letting people into my life. You two are the first people whom have ever took it to the next level though, indicating that there are spirits involved. @Matt and Cha, thanks guys. I can probably bring this up to my therapist, and maybe they'll know of Shamans of some sort. If anyone else has any other suggestions, please advise at will. What I really want to know is, how did you two come up with the same conclusion? No one I have ever spoken to has ever indicated anything spirit related, and has always come to the conclusion of some sort of dream deficiency, something wrong with the brain, something wrong with my muscles and nervous system, and so on, the list goes on.... its always science, never spiritual. SO again, thanks guys, this can help me have a better insight and perhaps better my research on my own time.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Matthew Dennis
Im not telling you to come to me. Im telling you how to solve this. As well no one admits spirit because we would all rather relate it less involving. Not to go to that topic because its taboo. People dont understand its more involving then we want to admit. As well, if they decide to admit it, it means they have to admit other things they are not willing.

I say its a spirit because you are a living being, you have your own spirit. This experience comes when you are weak, only when you are weak. Meaning you cant be fully capable or you have more control, gets pushed past, etc. if it was your spirit, something you went through, something You went through, you could believe something about it, rationalize it, have concious clean, etc. you cant even make decisions during and only experience the whole parts when you are vulnerable and completely laxed. Meaning it needs you to be so
It can force this on you. And your daily experiences are just what you remember from the envolving vision/dream state. Like muscle memory. I also say vision and im sure you would agree, because you remember vivid details about it. Unlike dream dreams which are splurges of imagination from just what our minds are dumping.

If it was you, you would know this issue, and you would have the choice to let it go or to handle it however you choose.

As well, when i said "the third party" i wasnt referring to me. I cant help you unless i saw you in person, but even then im doubtful at my current ability. You werent looking to the right people for this, if you go to a secular therapist, youre probably not going to be. Therapists will give you solutions if it was something coming from you, psyche, whatever. Its not though.

I like cha. We come to the same if not similar conclusions. Understanding is universal. Trees are awesome to give us health, water is wet, and the sun is stupid bright :P

I also knew you were going to say you wouldnt have anything to listen to when alone.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Cha Yang
I'm glad you have come to accept that spirits may indeed exist, and it may have something to do with you. I strongly believe in spirits, and as Matt stated, I do believe there are multiple spirits who are around you. I say multiple and not one, because I have experienced many rituals and ceremonies; it never involves only one spirit. I'm not a Shaman, so I can't give you a diagnosis, but I can tell you this though, assuming you believe in any of what I will say:

Spirits come in many form. The spirits that have manifested around you, our religions would call those type of spirits "Tuag Tshaib," or "the hungry." The spirits are hungry to take over you, and they will keep on attacking you (like Matt stated: in your weakest moments); if you give in, they come out.

As our religion states, one of our 9 spirits will forever remain with the body after we passed on, that spirit may have found you and believe you have come back to it, and may have attached itself on to you. You never mentioned anything where you were when you were 6 years old, all we know is that you started having these dreams at that age, but I would predict that you probably visited a location near by where your past "self" died, exposing your body to that old spirit, and attracting it.

What we would do in our religion is rid that unwanted spirit, even if it was a part of you in another life time. What does that mean? It means we would have separated the attached spirit(s) from your body, telling "it" that "it" no longer has a right to hold on to you and to move on. In my life time, I have seen and experienced many of these types of rituals; believe me, spirits never just let go, there is always something you have to offer them in exchange for your freedom. However, do YOU honestly believe in spirits?

The most important thing is facing something head on, not half-hearted. People who want to believe in too many ideologies usually get nowhere because of too much overlap of the complex beliefs. If you truly believe it is spirits that are amongst you, then bring them up during your therapy. Don't just bring up spirits when you yourself don't believe in it- and trust me, I AM getting the feeling that you don't believe in spirits but like the idea that it MAY be spirits. If you're serious with your therapist, they may help you locating Shamans. These type of therapist usually travel the world and learn different cultures and religions living amongst different families. You have a high chance that your therapist may have come across not one, but two or more people who may know of such shamans. Again, if you don't even sound serious, your therapist will not go through the trouble of back tracking their educational career trying to relocate these families they may have worked with. Best of luck bud!

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Jared North
Thanks you two, that actually cheered me up a little. I think you guys just made my day, and yes, today is my first day of therapy again from a long break- wish me luck. During therapy, I'm going to somehow bring up spirits and different beliefs, but I won't mention anyone's name. I'm believing this is something more than just science, and you guys seem to be on board, giving me courage and hope. I've also come across several documents and articles about spirits and reincarnation... they're really interesting; I'll bring those up as well during therapy. Do you guys have any other suggestions that I may bring up? The sessions are usually 2 hours long, so there is time to talk... Until I have more evidence-based research on spirits, I won't ask anything about my therapist's educational career and having her help me locate shamans. The biggest problem I've come across my research is, there are not a lot of evidence-based articles on spirits, nor are there documented researches on reincarnation. There is all kinds of stories about the two subjects online, but most are either fiction, entertainment-based, or documentaries only. I need more of a report, client-based report! Those are the best to read, but also most hidden away due to patient privacy.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Matthew Dennis
I was wondering the same as far as the event in all this when it started to occur. It honestly isnt of much importance though. What is important is ridding you of this spirit and getting you your life back. Its your life, you shouldnt have to go through this.

Understand, once you come to get where the problem is via this spirit, you may rid it. With help of course, you will need protection, but it will begin your journey in understanding. It wont be the end for your life and the encounters, but you can count this obstacle passed, and gain experience from this.

Note, you will become sensitive or aware because of this. As well, the stronger your heart, the less this is a problem.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

Matthew Dennis
So you know too, agreeing with cha, you need to go into this whole hearted. Go and carry your life full in heart. You will be more sure of things going on, but as well, you will be greater focused to the physical world you see and less sensitive to the spirit realm. This is good because you dont want to waiver in your life based on what you "feel" around you. It keeps your heart solid, prepares you, and if it ever comes about you have to deal with Any thing in thr future, you will be ready.

  Like  2 years ago 0 people like this

OJesvi singh
Jared..do give us all the updates...about ur life related to this stuff....btw gudluck......lets just hope for the best

  Like  2 years ago Daniel Dumas like this.

Daiz Bon
i love this story... red heart

  Like  2 years ago Daniel Dumas and Jared North like this.

Girlie Witham
Tears in my eyes for u jared...live the 2nd life to the fullest..

  Like  2 years ago Daniel Dumas like this.

George Wallace
Damn bud, I hate to be you. Good luck!

  Like  12 months ago 0 people like this

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